Forget Me, Let Me Go
by theWanderingANBU
Summary: Ten years ago she was a pilot, Ten years ago he was the savior of humanity. With only a picture left to show his existence, she set off to figure out who he was. Ten years later, no answers but she still tries. Will she ever figure out who he is? [A x S]
1. Movement 1: Forgotten

Chapter 1: Remembering is Sometimes Forgetting

Sub-part I: The beginning…

_He flipped back from the attack, grabbing his progressive knife and dashing at the EVA in blazing speed. The progressive knife pierced the beast, and instantly he ripped off the head, the blood pouring out. There, the EVAS eyes had shown with rage, anger, passion, but it wasn't the true eyes of the EVA, but it was the pilot's own eyes. It was him, the boy who was the coward who always ran away. Slowly, he felt himself giving up, dying inside with every passing second, to where he felt the power run down, and his life dwindling in what could happen to him. The other EVAS, the ones SEELE had sent, smirked and begun the ceremony, everything to bring humanity's destruction. _

_They began the true purpose, piercing the EVA Unit-01's hands, Shinji screaming from the pain of the piercing. Slowly, it began to descend, the EVA in the middle of a formation of what the other EVAs were creating._

"_It's the beginning of the end…I'm sorry everyone…" was the thought that ran through Fuyutski's head, watching as every passing second of this wretched sight would only give birth to the end._

"_No! This can't be happening, AAH!" snapped Shinji while he tried to move the EVA, a pointless move as it stayed immobilized. However, what the formation was meant for began to shine, and the eye's of everyone in the NERV headquarters opened in dread…_

"_The tree…of life…" muttered Maya as she continued to watch in dread. To think, one second it seemed life would be fine, the typical Angel fighting stuff, to now where the world was in the hands of a fourteen year old boy._

"_Let God save us all…" muttered Fuyutski under his breath, still watching while waiting for what he predicted to come to happen._

_Shinji sat there, trying to get it to move and bugging out in his mind, and what he saw next made his ego break the border of sanity. There, in the cockpit of the EVA, through the eyes of it, he saw Rei's eyes and face pass his EVA in height, the smile that showed malice and destruction. His eyes opened in shock and fear, a piercing scream could be heard throughout the room._

"_No dammit! This can't be happening! This can't be happening!" began Shinji sitting there frozen to how he was, not being able to move from the image that was burning into his mind._

_The mission continued on, everything seeming to go perfect, SEELE was hailing this moment and waiting…waiting for the boy to run away and send humanity to become one, to enter God's domain._

_Inside his mind, Shinji sat there in a fetal position, the darkness and the emptiness were the only things that could be felt, sensed. Suddenly he heard a voice come from out of nowhere._

"_Help me SOMEONE! HELP ME! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"_

_He could feel the tears sweeping, a spotlight focusing on his as he sat there alone in this dark abyss._

"_Help me please, Asuka…help me…Asuka please! HELP ME!"_

"_Sir, the pilots mind is contaminated and unstable! The pilot is going beserk!" snapped Aoba while they continued to watch in udder horror and silence. It was unbearable to watch even if they had to watch, who knew what was going to happen next._

"_That's it, I can't rely on anyone, I understand now. I have to be the one to fight, I have to be the one to fight for everyone, protect them, make sure they stay alive. I have to be brave and not run away! I'll fight it! I'll help myself!" screamed Shinji in his mind as the EVA roared with the madness and strength the pilot had found._

"_Sir, the pilot's mind is back to stable, his ego border is back to normal, everything's pulling through…" said Hyuga, causing Fuyutski to smile._

"_Now, what is it that you want?" asked Fuyutski in his mind, watching and knowing what was going to happen next._

"_**What is it you want?"**_

"_I don't know, I don't know what to think anymore! I mustn't run away, but I do anyway, I'm still a coward, pathetic, someone who hates himself in every way! I don't want to be here, no one will help me!"_

"_**Do you believe that? Is that what you truly think of yourself?"**_

"_Yes dammit! I hate myself, no one loves me either! Everyone hates me, they only recognize me when I pilot EVA, that's when I feel my purpose for existing!"_

"_**Do you feel your existence when you pilot EVA? Is that the only time? Or is that what you choose to believe? You want to believe that you have no one who cares for you, You tell yourelf that you mustn't run away, but in the end you do…"**_

"_Then it should be a world without me…"_

"_**Do you think it will be the same world without you?"**_

"_Could it still be the same? After everything that's happened, could it really change? I thought I could change, but for a world that's already decaying in its own problems, I need to leave. The world should live, but I need to leave, people can live without me being here…I'm sure of it…plus, those who died or had injuries, let them be healed and not remember the cause of it"_

"_**Are you sure that this is what you truly want? To allow them to live while you die for the sake of others?"**_

"_Yes, it's better if I die knowing I kept them alive…my father, Misato…and…and…"_

"_Asuka…"_

"_**So you wish for her too to be back alive? For her to live on while you die?"**_

"_Yes, knowing that I've helped her and that she's alive is what I wish for…in fact…erase her memory of me, so that way she forgets me…"_

"_**Why do you seek such a wish? Didn't you care for her? Don't you want her to remember you?"**_

"_The pain of leaving her alone is bad enough, it's better if she forgot me, I was nothing but a pest to her, and no matter how much I cared for her…my feelings for her made me run away from her…I feared her touch…her emotions…her possible feelings for me too…so I want her to live happily without me there…"_

"_**But she could also live in sorrow finally remembering you and wishing you were alive…"**_

"_I know, but knowing her, she would never remember me…so forget that I ever existed in her mind, because the feelings I have for her is that I want to be with her but I would only pester her. If I do care for her, then I will cease to exist to her along with everyone around me that knew me. My life is my struggle, theirs their own. I am nothing but one person in a world containing billions of people, No burden can then truly be placed on them…"_

Part I: Forgotten

It had been 10 years since the failed Third Impact, and everything seemed to be a hazy memory. Fighting angels, SEELE being destroyed, her father dying from an EVA attack, it was as if she had lived a life only so long ago.

Now look at her, she was twenty-four, built beautifully in every aspect and seemed to be something any guy would want. That was, until they met her personality. It wasn't the same one that she had remembered in little bits and pieces to where she would be feisty, insulting, angry, having an unstable ego that manifested itself into actions. Instead, it was this sense of loss, sense of pain, as if she was empty, but she couldn't describe it. She didn't remember anyone that would make her feel this way because she remembered everybody. Even she and Hikari were best friends after school ended and they became adults working full time.

Life had become normal, or to her in times it was always normal. The typical romance, drama, laughter, everything seemingly monotonic and routine in this world to where normalcy could barely describe it; but she could only feel one emotion that she quickly hid inside like she would always do; pain of someone she lost that meant a lot to her. Luckily, she found a picture of a young boy who she felt had been there for her but now was gone, disappearing with a trace from history and records. Even when she asked the people in NERV about this boy in the picture, they couldn't tell her.

Now, she still will look at the picture now and then, feeling this feeling of regret, curiosity, wondering who he was. It bothered her as much as a guy trying to hit on her just because of her looks.

She stood on the balcony looking at the picture of this black haired blue-eyed boy that seemed to never exist, yet if he did, why would there be a picture of him? Sure, someone could have made up the picture with the technology they have, but this picture was real, everything about it. Even the date on the back that read "2015" gave a clarification that it was real.

"Who are you?" she thought to herself, remembering the fateful day 10 years ago…

**Ten years ago…**

"Uh…" began a faint voice from the red-haired, sapphire-eyed beauty who had lied in bed in a state of comatose. Her eyes opened slowly, the light blaring into her eyes to where she was swearing she was going blind. When she finally adjusted to the light, she sat up and looked around the room, the bland color of white causing her to already hate the place. What was going on? Last thing she remembered was her EVA being torn into shreds…until…

Suddenly, she immediately began to feel for any appendages around her body, feeling her forehead wrapped covering one eye, along with an arm around her body and she felt some small bandages around her ribs. How did she get all of this?

The door to her room slid open, and a purple haired woman who seemed in her twenties walked into the room without looking and getting ready for her famous "Asuka…I hope you wake someday…"

"Asuka," began Misato while walking in and having a depressed look on her face, "I hope you wake from your coma some --," she stopped in mid-sentence and saw Asuka staring at her with a puzzled look, a gleam in Misato's eyes began to brew.

"A-A-Asuk, you're awake! Man I thought you wouldn't be awake for how long you were out!" exclaimed Misato while practically lunging at Asuka and hugging her, Asuka staring into emptiness with a look of dread on her face. How long was she out? How long did she stay in this hell of blackness and emptiness, not to mention the fact that she was alone once again.

"What do you mean by that! How long have I been out?" snapped Asuka immediately while pushing off Misato, causing Misato to smile at it all.

"She's back to herself after being in a coma…funny…it feels great to have you back…" thought Misato while she sat down next to Asuka on her bed, Asuka turning to face her.

"You were out for at least three weeks…possibly a month, but then again I wouldn't expect you to be awake now. I mean with what happened to you and your EVA…" began Misato while Asuka's eyes opened even more. What the hell had truly gone on?

"What happened to me and my EVA?" asked Asuka with an innocent tone to it. It seemed the injuries she sustained were more damaging than they thought.

"Well, you were torn to shreds by them after killing them everytime. However, they had an S-2 Engine, so they could revive and not only that but we found them to be dummy plugs also…however, we don't know what happened to them. Or we think we know, because we know Unit-01 had disappeared…" began Misato while Asuka sat there staring elsewhere into the distance, the memories seeping into her mind, the insanity of it all was hurting her inside, the wounds began to feel a sharp sting to them.

"How am I alive then? And who piloted Unit 01? Wait, there was a Unit 01?" asked Asuka while Misato looked at her with a look that said she just realized something.

"I'm wondering too, you should've been dead since the neural connections were still working, and your EVA is just about dead, and somehow your alive. I swear that there was an EVA Unit 01, but you're lucky your alive now…" said Misato with a smile to try and relief Asuka, but it worked to no avail.

"This doesn't make sense Misato…this really doesn't…" said Asuka while Misato putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I know, but hey, at least life can be normal for you now. No more EVA, no more SEELE, no more Angels…we can live a life that is like the ones who live in Tokyo-3, a normal healthy life." said Misato as Asuka took Misato's hand off of her shoulder, Misato giving a perplexed look.

"Something happened Misato, and I'm going to find out…and what do you mean SEELE? What was going on with the EVAs? What was the attack all about?" asked Asuka, Misato sighing and getting ready for the long speech. It didn't seem right to talk about, but for Asuka the sole survivor, it seemed that she needed to know.

"SEELE was the one-up over NERV, and tried to create the Third Impact, also known as the "Human Instrumentality Project", in which we as humans would become one, a singular instead of the different people alive today. We were going to become a god ourselves, and that's why the EVAS were sent here by SEELE and the JSSFD had attacked, However, since the attack was defeated, SEELE was charged for "inhumane crimes against humanity" and now majority are in jail, some committing suicide. NERV is now going to be shut down as it bears no more purpose to the world, and now you don't even have to work a day in your life, you're getting money for all the work you did as an EVA pilot…" said Misato while Asuka sat there, the words soaking in slowly, why did this seem to all make sense. However, the look of sadness succumbed, and for once Misato felt Asuka opening up to her.

"Misato, we won't be able to live a normal life. We, Rei and I, experienced hell when we fought the angels, we had to live to get ready to possibly die the next day. With what we saw and went through, how the hell do they expect us to live normal lives! It's idiotic and wrong, and no matter how much money they give me to live on, doesn't mean I'll live a day in my life feeling normal, knowing that I died in the EVA unit and that I fought and killed beasts of a different realm!" snapped Asuka as she sat there, trying to calm herself down after her argument.

"I understand Asuka, but we have to live a normal life now, we have to act as if what we went through was nothing. That it was history, and you know textbooks won't claim this as anything nor will they remember years from now. You will be a silent hero only known to my generation and the next, but in the end you will be forgotten. Understand Asuka, when we live normal lives is when history finally loses its light, but we still have to. For your sake, for our sake, we have to ok?" said Misato while Asuka sat there, resting her arms on her knees.

"I guess Misato. Still, it doesn't feel right to live a normal life with what we did. That would be asking me to live in a self-created hell and to try and forget everything that's happened. The violence, the trauma, the fact that I was mind-raped by an Angel…everything…" began Asuka while bringing her knees up and hiding her face under her arms and knees, her body trembling.

"Asuka, you'll be fine now, no more of that…ok?" said Misato in a soothing voice, not affecting the young pilot at all.

"Not only that, but I exist truly when I'm in EVA! That's where I feel alive! What am I supposed to do without it? Can you tell me Misato, can you tell me!" yelled the trembling fourteen year old girl, feeling arms wrap around her frail body, her eyes opening in shock.

"Start a new life Asuka, become something else, find your true reason for existence, not the one that you created with EVA. That's what we all have to do, be reborn with a new chance at life and make it worth its while.

Slowly Misato let go and began to walk off, Asuka's head slowly rising and watching this woman who had shown so much compassion to her walk out the door, however what caught her interest was what happened next. A picture that was inside of Misato's jacket slowly fell to the ground, and without even noticing it, Misato walked off out to the door, but just as she was about to go she turned around and said.

"Goodbye Asuka, you'll be out of here tomorrow k?" with that, Misato turned and walked out of the doorway. Asuka stared at this picture that was face down, and she wondered of who it might be. She blushed a little as she thought about Kaji, hoping that she would find him as the picture. Quickly, she got up and bent down to pick up the picture, turning it around with much anticipation that it would be her ill fated "love".

"I miss you so much Ka--," began Asuka, seeing that it was someone else in the picture, "ji…?" she looked at the picture, getting up and walking back to her bed and sat there. There he was, a blue-eyed boy that had brown hair and gave a sense of innocence to him with the smile he had. He seemed like someone familiar, but she couldn't remember. However, she was feeling something inside that she couldn't describe when she saw this picture. It made her heart jump and gave some tint to her face. She had to admit, he was kind of cute, but still who could it be?

The rest of the day was just spent as trying to relax, wishing to get the hell out of there, and here and there of wondering who it was and trying to solve it. She doesn't remember him in school, or even during the EVA fights. However, he did remind her of the now deceased commander Gendou Ikari.

"Who the hell are you?" snapped Asuka while looking at the photograph, hell it was bugging her really badly. She set the picture on the table next to her and sat there, staring at the afternoon sky and sighing. Tomorrow, she would be out of there and gone and live a "normal" life.

"Whatever, I don't care now. They can all just kiss my ass!" snapped Asuka while decided to sleep. She did feel a little tired and exhausted so she simply lied back onto her bed and pillow, letting sleep take over her fiber of being…tomorrow, she would find out who he was no matter how much it took…

**The Present…**

Now look at her, ten years later and still no answer, nothing. No one knew who he was, Kensuke, Touji, Hikari, Misato…it was as if he never seemed to exist at all. How could someone just disappear without a trace like that? Even to this day she questions how could someone cease to exist and the only thing seemingly left of him is this simple photograph of him.

"Like that promise I made ten years ago…I swear I'll figure out who you are…" she thought as she looked up into the sky, the wind blowing into her hair. Little did she know that sometimes finding out the answer to everything isn't always the best thing to do….


	2. Movement 2: Retaining

_One of my shorter writings for a story...and I figured out how long this is going to be. But I'll ask you anyway, how long do you think this should be? Well, to RahXephon, thanks for telling me to not overuse Italics, this is as much as I will use along with a little for the chapter, but still hope you enjoy! As for the rest of my reviewers, glad you find this story interesting, I won't be able to update this story for at least a while since I'll be gone forsix days, but I'll come back and work on it! I promise...it might take another week then. But other than that, enjoy!_

Movement 2: Retaining

She walked over to Misato's place to visit her, a refuge for Asuka when she felt the pang she had been feeling the last few days. She had not found anything to help figure out who this boy in the picture was, this smiling blue-eyed brown haired fourteen year old boy that seemed to give this shine of happiness, something that she had always wished to be able to feel. The peaceful sky of blue that bore no clouds or any sun, the place that seemed to resembled Misato's place. She put the picture back into her pocket and sighed, lying in her bed of her days in school, the memories intoxicating her and causing her to smile. She remembered the times when she would have friends staying the night, like Hikari and all the fun times they had. Even Rei and her got on good terms, and in the end they were the best of friends, even like sisters. She had changed in many good ways and yet she had changed in many instances.

For starters, she had felt this pang inside, as if someone had been missing from her that made her feel happy at times or sadness to where when guys asked her out, something told her that she should say no. She would still go on the dates though, only feeling proud that she could lead a guy like that, but felt disgusted at the same time. She was changing during those times, and she could feel it. She didn't want to, but she felt so vulnerable at times, and she still didn't want to open up her heart to anyone, but there was one person she had considered to and that was still highly unlikely…or rather she thought she did. Still, by laying on her old bed, looking around the room, she could feel the memories soak in and it made her semi-happy once again.

"I could never admit this but…I was glad to be away from my dad," thought Asuka while she sat herself up and looked around the room smiling at every precious item in there, "sure Germany is my home, but I was allowed refuge from the storm….from my dad…and I started to feel as if maybe I'm not alone. But now, I still feel it…"

"Asuka…what do you want for dinner?" said a voice from outside the door. Asuka then felt all of her concentration turn to that.

"Anything's fine, your cooking has gotten a lot better than it used to be." said Asuka, getting up towards the door to leave. When she got out, she looked at the room next to her old room and something in her mind puzzled her.

"Hey Misato." said Asuka while still staring at the door that had a sign hung on it that said "Lovely Suite". Why would there be a sign that was up that would say that? Who used to live in that room?

"Yes Asuka? What is it?" asked Misato while you could hear some vegetables being stir-fried. Asuka stepping closer to the door that made her curiosity run wild for the moment.

"Who used to live in this room next to me?" asked Asuka while she saw a head pop out from behind a wall giving a puzzled look.

"Don't go in there, I locked the room after I got back, fearing that I don't remember why it was there. I don't anyone to ruin it in case if I remember anything about that place…" said Misato while Asuka felt her head droop. Something was calling her to go look inside and snoop, finding possible answers about the boy who had haunted her dreams, nightmares, everything. The boy in the picture was the top priority to her, but she would have to find out later.

Dinner came quickly at Misato's place, both Asuka and Misato eating in an awkward silence. Something was bugging both of them, both having different problems that night. Finally, to break the silence, Misato asked a question about what had happened earlier.

"Asuka, why did you want to go into that room?" asked Misato while grabbing her can of beer, taking a quick gulp and putting it back down, Asuka hesitant in answering right away.

"I don't know what to do, say, do I tell her the truth this time? Or lie like last time?" thought Asuka while she took another bite to eat, finally deciding to tell the truth. After all, there might be a possibility that Misato would know who it was or know some things about him.

"Misato, you remember that day I woke up from a coma ten years ago?" asked Asuka while Misato looked up at her, locking eyes with Asuka. She nodded firmly and Asuka put down her chopsticks.

"Misato, that day, a picture dropped from your jacket, and I picked it up from the floor. I wanted to give it back to you but you walked off already…and ever since then I've felt something about it," began Asuka with Misato now listening intently, trying to remember a picture that she carried with her that day, "and you see, at first I thought it would be of Kaji, so I was happy in anticipation only to find that it was actually this," she hands Misato the picture, Misato's eyes opening in shock, "and ever since then I've wanted to figure out who he is but can't. I know he's real! And no one else remembers him. However, no matter what I try and do I can't figure out for the life of me --,"

"Shinji…" came off of the lips of Misato while she continued to stare at the picture, not focusing on what Asuka was now saying.

"Who he—wait, what did you just say?" asked Asuka while Misato still sat there in a trance, staring at the photo in front of her.

"For some reason, when I see this picture, I think of the name Shinji, it feels as if I've known him, but I'm not sure…" began Misato while she continued to stare at the picture with a puzzled look. Why was he so familiar to her all of a sudden? One second, he seemed just like a normal picture taken of somebody else for the hell of it, the next moment he reminds her of a name "Shinji".

"So you think that --," began Asuka, only to be cut off by Misato getting up and interrupting Asuka while she walked to her room.

"I'm sure, his name is Shinji. I don't know who he is, but I'm sure he did exist. It doesn't make sense, are you sure this is all you have and you don't know who this is?" snapped Misato while she stood there, waiting for Asuka's reply.

"Yes Misato, I'm sure of it…" said Asuka while she sat there, her eyes full of sadness and wonder. This was hurting, seeing and sensing that not only was she in pain from the picture, but so was Misato. She watched as Misato walked to her room and got in.

"Asuka," began Misato while she took another step into her room, "stay here for the night, it's pretty late and I'll try and see if I can do some research and come up with anything. After that, we'll check out some places to see if we can find anything…" she closed the door behind her, leaving a silent Asuka sitting there alone and hurt along with confused.

-------Misato's Room-------

"I'm sure of it, that is Shinji…Shinji what though? Or rather who though? He seems so close to me…so far at the same time to. It was as if I was close to him, as if he practically lived with me or something…but that wouldn't make sense…" thought Misato while she turned on her computer, instantly finding the computer turn on with the desktop ready.

"He should be in NERV records, he should be…" thought Misato while she instantly opened the NERV program, looking into every record possible, anything to find out who this "Shinji" is.

"Damn it! He's not in any records!" snapped Misato while slamming a silent fist onto the desk, the anger pending up inside of her. He had to be there, that was the only way she would know him. She continued to work on looking into any EVA battles, any EVA Unit information, anything. What she did find interesting though was that there was an EVA Unit 00, and an EVA Unit 02, but shouldn't there have been an EVA Unit 01? She remembered that when Fuyutski was being dragged away for his "crimes against humanity", he simply mouthed something out. They questioned him about the giant explosion that happened in the GeoFront, the purpose and the people of the attack, but she couldn't tell what he was mouthing out.

"I need to continue looking, this is starting to get interesting again…" thought Misato with a smirk, taking a swig of beer and begin typing away and continuously looking, as if for anything else that was out of place…

---------Asuka's Room-----------

She sat there on the bed in silence, pondering the name and why it stuck out there where as any other name she could shrug off. It wasn't the name of any of her friends, not even sounding like a name of a person that would even live in that area.

"Why can't I let go of this name?" asked Asuka to herself, continuing to sit there and hug her knees in the darkness.

It seemed like the perfect name for the boy in the picture. Nothing else would seem to fit, not even the names she wanted to be for him.

"I'll try and figure out all of this in the morning, for now, I need sleep." thought Asuka with a yawn, laying herself down onto her bed, her head meeting with a soft pillow that brought back even more nostalgia to her. She slowly let herself relax, falling to sleep peacefully…

-----Misato's Apartment-------

The morning came with Asuka waking up on her own, shooting upward and her eyes drooped instantly, wondering why the hell she shot up all of a sudden. She rubbed her eyes to get the gunk out, letting her eyes focus slowly in the darkness. She gave out a quick yawn, her eyes focusing after that.

"Well, I'm sure Misato is asleep still…so I guess I'll go make breakfast…" thought Asuka, slugglishly getting up from the bed. She walked out of the door without a stress of having to change, since she had slept in the same clothes she wore yesterday.

"I'll just go and change when I get home…" thought Asuka to herself while she closed her bedroom door behind her, suddenly smelling pancakes cooking.

"What the--?" thought Asuka, checking the kitchen to see Misato cooking and wide awake, Asuka shocked at the sight she was seeing. Before she could even say anything, Misato turned around and gave a smile.

"Well good morning sleepy head! You finally woke up!" said Misato while Asuka sat down at the table and resting her head on her hand.

"What time is it?" asked Asuka while she saw Misato move her right hand up to where she could look at the watch.

"It's 9: 30 in the morning, so you're good." said Misato while she turned off the stove fire, putting the pancakes on a plate and bringing what seemed both plates of breakfast to the table.

"Well, eat up." said Misato while Asuka took a glance at the food in front of her. It was a simple ordinary breakfast with an unordinary side; pancakes, toast and some fish to go along. She looked down at Pen-pen, who was happily eating his food. She shrugged off any doubt, taking a bite and being happy that she let the doubt go away.

"Oh and Asuka…I found out some interesting stuff…" began Misato, waiting for Asuka to take a few bites. When she said this, Asuka ceased to move, freezing as if stuck in time, looking up at Misato.

"You see, I found out some interesting things about NERV…and for some reason they help towards the boy in the picture there…" continued Misato, luring in Asuka with every word that she spoke.

"But why do you want to find out so much about this boy? What makes him so special to you for this?" asked Misato while Asuka felt some tint in her cheeks, not knowing why but still it was feeling natural.

"I don't know, I feel as if he's someone that I wanted to be close to…but didn't want to get close to…it was as if…" began Asuka with her head looking down a little bit, Misato cutting her off.

"Because you were afraid of pain, rejection, and the touch; you didn't want to get so close to someone so in they end they would hurt you…" continued Misato, Asuka looking at her with a confused look.

"How the hell did you figure that out?" asked Asuka with a perplexed tone, Mistao giving a conceited smile.

"Woman's intuition…" smirked Misato while Asuka sat there and replied with a "hmph". Misato giggled a little.

"Still Asuka, I got close to you, and I haven't hurt you right? So what's there to lose?" asked Misato while Asuka sat there without looking back.

"Still Misato, I mean a guy to do that to me, I'm okay with you, although I may have never said it, you became this somewhat sister to me. With him though…I feel as if there was some reason why I couldn't get near him, nor felt like something about him was keeping me away…but still…" said Asuka while Misato just gave a deep sigh.

"Enough with this mushy stuff…do you want to know about the stuff about NERV or not?" asked Misato while Asuka gave a nod immediately in response.

"NERV had another EVA known as "Unit 01", but it never appears in the database. I figured that out with the fact that there was Rei's Unit 00 and your Unit 02, so wouldn't there be a Unit 01?" began Misato, Asuka falling deep in contemplation, Misato was definitely on to something, "Not only that, but Rei hadn't saved you during the times you were in trouble when fighting angels. She wasn't around or she wasn't close enough to save you, something else had…" Asuka looked up and her eyes opened in shock, why was this a sudden realization now? "Lastly, during the SEELE attack, the nine EVAS that came to attack were decimated and were gone without remains…" Asuka but in immediately with that.

"But what about Rei? Couldn't she have been the one to destroy them?" asked Asuka, seeing Misato smile conceitedly still as Asuka gave a confused look again.

"You could think that is a possibility, but I remember in Fuyutski's comments in interrogation that this giant "Rei" person, born from Lillith, came out during the attack, but blew up. He even mouthed out something that no one could read or see and when I tried to read it, I couldn't figure it out…" said the observant Misato, Asuka looking at her with a shocked look and was scared because of Misato figuring out all of this.

"How long did you stay up Misato?" snapped Asuka while Misato took another swig of beer.

"All night, but hey I'm okay, I'm probably going to sleep in today and rest…" said Misato while Asuka gave a nod and continued eating.

"One more thing…"

"Yes Misato?"

"Commander Gendo did have a son, but he's never appeared after the SEELE attack, he was wiped out of existence it seemed…"

Asuka's eyes opened in dread once more, how was this possible? She didn't remember Gendo ever having a son around, although she did remember some things that Gendo would do, like as if he were looking at someone at times but gave a scoff soon after. It was someone, and it sure as hell that it wasn't her, but maybe Rei? No, he didn't because whenever he did, it was obvious as hell.

"Misato…"

"Yes?"

"Maybe his name is Shinji Ikari…"

"Could be Asuka, could be…you know, maybe you should check out NERV records to see if you can find out anymore, as in go to the headquarters itself…" said Misato while Asuka sat there and thought about it.

NERV had been considered closed that day after her awakening from the coma, but still it contained the records of the majority of the battles. No one knew of the recordings of them, no one expected it, everyone thought that when it was over there would be no more memory of it. However, under the commanding of that wretched man Gendo, nothing was to be forgotten, even after his death it seemed he wanted them to remember it all. Remember the torment, the suffering, the anxiety, the feelings of anger and frustration and the somewhat happy feeling of being able to live another day because they destroyed an Angel. However, for Asuka, majority of the battles were a loss but she somehow was saved.

"Wait a minute…" thought Asuka to herself. Something wasn't right about the battles, as if something went missing and terribly wrong in the picture. Whenever she was saved Rei wasn't there, or so it seemed. Rei couldn't have destroyed the Angel Liliel and destroyed it, nor could she have been the one who saved Asuka with her EVA going beserk on Zeruel, nor fought with her when she defeated Israfel with her. She had taken for granted that Rei was the one who had helped her defeat those angels and stopped them, but she began to realize that something was missing. She couldn't remember what it was or who it was, but there was another, because she could remember bits and pieces that spoke of the "Third Children", meaning that there had to be another pilot.

"Dammit, why didn't I think of it before?" snapped Asuka, smacking her head with her hand. She forgot that being that she was once with NERV, she could check the recordings of the fights with the Angels and especially SEELE's attack. She's allowed to see anything dealing with NERV and any NERV personel, but didn't want to look at anything so she could put the past behind her. She was happy that way, or so it seemed. Now, with Misato simply pointing this out to her, she felt idiotic about not checking it out.

"Misato, I'll go check it out, I promise you that…" said Asuka with Misato picking up her plate and putting it in the sink.

"You have to do it today, because something could happen to NERV tomorrow, the UN is threatening to destroy anything pertaining to NERV…" began Misato, getting cut off by Asuka.

"I'm going, thanks for everything Misato!" said Asuka, bringing her plate up to the sink and walking off with a wave of the hand.

"You can always come here when you need refuge, or if it helps you to figure all of this out." said Misato while she cupped her hands over her mouth to add volume to her voice.

"Thanks Misato, I might later on!" said Asuka as she opened the door and closed it behind her, heading towards NERV. Misato kept scrubbing the plates, her head drooping down with sadness.

"I wish I wouldn't have remembered you Shinji, I wish I hadn't…and Asuka will have to learn on her own…" thought Misato, a tear falling down from her face.

"The question that I have left from after reading all of the information I found is…"

"_Why did you let yourself die?"_


	3. Movement 3: Beginning to Fall

_Well, to everyone who's reading this story, thanks for the support! And I will continue my first story, but I've been really busy and I'll be gone another five days. Plus, I'm trying to figure out a good chapter, so it'll come soon I promise! But other than that, here's the third chapter/installment of this short series and I hope you enjoy it!_

_And thanks also to RahXephon fo_r _the help and everything, and to the readers whose also reading my other story, your encouragement and reviews have helped me to continue writing and to try and improve. So, on with this chapter!_

Movement 3: Beginning to Fall; Trying to remember the tragic past

_This is a Forbidden Zone, anyone caught trespassing will be executed by the Federal Government…_

She took a sigh and looked back at the sign on the fence that was in her way of getting more answers to the boy in the picture. She looked at the sign again with a gloomed look and then shook it off, feeling determination course through her veins.

"I'll find out everything about this kid, I made a promise, remember?" snapped Asuka while walking towards the fence, putting her fingers through some of the holes.

"Well, here goes…" though Asuka, putting one foot up on the fence and slowly climbing up, making sure to not make a lot of sound and to also make sure she had good footing to climb. She kept climbing and climbing, until reaching the top, jumping down and landing as silently as she could. After landing and nearly falling down, she got up with a triumphant smile and dusting off her clothes.

"I still got it!" thought Asuka, looking at the doorways that once let her into NERV, pulling out her card and looking at the entrance with hesitation.

"Won't they know that I've been here then if I swipe it?" thought Asuka while she looked back down at her card, then casting a glance at the entrance, wondering what to do. Even if she didn't get caught now, wouldn't they know she came in if it kept track of _everything _happening at NERV? She brushed off the thought and walked over to the machine, sliding her card in and watched the doorway slide open, allowing her to step into the darkness that was once known as NERV.

"Hello…again…" thought Asuka while walking in, remembering everything that had gone on in the very short history of hers with NERV. The fights, the blows dealt by the Angels; emotionally, physically and mentally. She hated those thoughts and wanted them gone, to leave her and let her live another life but it wouldn't no matter how much she tried.

"Damn…" muttered Asuka, riding the elevator used to get to the main NERV HQ, watching the now decimated geofront with awe and dread too. Dread of returning to the past and the awe of how beautiful it still was. The hole in the geofront allowed the sun to truly shine upon the geofront, showing that even though there was a giant hole left by the explosion and the majority of it seemed barren, it still had some awe inspired beauty about it.

When she got out of the elevator, she walked into NERV HQ, gulping nervously as the door slowly slid open, and with the steps feeling like they were in slow motion, she entered the barren and nearly destroyed place.

The lights lit up automatically while she walked in, as if the program was set up for it to light up the place when someone walked into the place. She looked around the place, looking at the wing to where the hospital wings were, to see were more rooms were that she didn't know they were for, and mainly, the corridor she was going down to get to the mainroom to access the information.

"I need to get out of here quickly to make sure I don't get caught in here…" thought Asuka while she walked into the room, the lights also turning on with her in their. She looked around, feeling a sense of nostalgia. She pried around, using every computer to look for any information bearing any recordings of battles. She kept looking and prying into everything each container had, until there was only one left…

"Of all the places left…it better be in there!" snapped Asuka while she slowly walked up to the dreaded part of the main room, the place that hell it self manifested in the two eyes of one man, the place where he would just calmly sit and make both rational and harsh decisions; the main desk of Gendo Ikari. Of course, it never seemed to have a computer there, but the possibilities of this place were endless. Besides, no ones really seen what it looks like to its fullest since no one was up there except for Fuyutski, except Fuyutski would seem to glance down at the desk once in a while and look with a tint of disgust.

"It has to be here…somewhere…" said Asuka, reaching the desk and seeing nothing but an empty desk with nothing to show. No picture, no cup, no nothing, everything that would bring life or show existence there was gone.

"Where could it be…" muttered Asuka as she looked around in a furious search, still bearing no results of having found anything.

"Damn it…damn it…DAMN IT!" snapped Asuka, slamming her fists hard into the desk, a sudden shudder of the desk made Asuka flinch in shock. There, a patch of the desk slowly began to rise, along with a keyboard popping out of the front of the desk. She looked at it with shock and triumph. When it finished coming out, Asuka smiled and immediately sat in Gendo's old seat.

"Asuka wins again!" snapped Asuka to herself with a cocky grin, getting the computer to turn on and accessing the information on it. She immediately looked up pilot information to see if she could find anything, maybe bearing little results that appeared to help at first glance. She continued looking even if feeling defeated by a lousy computer, but she wanted to check her profile to see what they said about her:

"**Name: Asuka Soryu Langley**

**Second Child**

**Age: 14**

**Evangelion: Unit 02**

**Nationality:German**

**A natural genius graduating college at the age of 14, pilots EVA Unit 02 and came to Japan with a man named Ryoji Kaji. Seems to be striving to continuously having to be the best at everything, but nearly is the opposite of it. Seems to create a barrier around others except for Kaji…and seems to have this very unstable ego at the same time.**

**Current Location: NERV Hospital"  
**

"Wow, talk about basic information and yet not good enough to describe me, though it seemed a lot of what they said was true about me." Continued Asuka while she looked more and more into everything, until she struck upon something interesting she didn't pay attention to earlier.

"What the hell?" snapped Asuka while she continued to glance at the information on the screen, the words seemingly to puzzle her even more. There on the screen, it read simply the names of the pilots that ever existed in NERV and…

_What child they were…_

There was the First and Second Child…but then, it seemed the information skipped to the Fourth Child. It had Rei Ayanami, Asuka Soryu Langley, and Touji Suzahara as pilots, but how was there not a Third Child?

"Wait then that means…" began Asuka…typing away with blazing speed and looking at the results she pulled up. Misato was right, there was an EVA Unit 00, 02 and 03, but what about Unit 01? It was getting odder and more interesting by the minute, and it seemed Asuka was finally starting to get somewhere. What the hell was going on? Was it something that she couldn't see before?

"It's not making sense…what the hell is going on here?" thought Asuka to herself with shock, all the information presenting itself in front of her began to confuse her more and yet help her feel somewhat close to finding the answers to the unanswered questions. There had to be a Unit 01, there had to be a Third Child, there had to be a boy at the age of 14 who piloted Unit 01 and had a great synch ration, because no one seemed to be good enough to just fight the angels with only two people. Even the battle information seemed to stress her even more. It showed Unit 01 destroying almost every Angel that it fought with Asuka, except no data was left on the Third Angel nor any of the other Angels before Asuka came. It even said only Misato came to visit Asuka, when she remembered Touji and Kensuke being there too.

"Damn it…something is really wrong here…" snapped Asuka to herself while she looked at audio conversations recorded _into _the computer and written down into a script, showing no signs of a third pilot in any of the battles Rei and Asuka were in, seemingly sending Asuka into square one of her results; nothing proving his existence.

"This isn't helping me at all…maybe if I listen to the audio recordings…" thought Asuka while she launched the command on the computer, hearing the audio recordings of one of the Angels Asuka would fight later on.

"**Heh, this Angel will be a piece of cake, it seems easy doesn't it?" **said a familiar voice that embarrassed Asuka. She laughed at how she sounded back in the past and it amused her how childish she really was back then.

"Yes we will…" muttered the emotionless voice of Rei, Asuka continue to listen intently, trying to make sure that she listens to it.

"**All he's doing is floating and seems to bear no sign of threats…and I'm sure someone can handle it because they're invincible huh?"** muttered Asuka while a static covered the response of the person she was talking to, barely hearing the voice to where she stopped the tape.

"Wait I have to play it again…I swear that I heard something…" thought Asuka while she played the tape, turning up the volume to hear the voice.

"…_I – can…handle…i….on…m….ow...Misa…."_said the voice, breaking up every few parts of a word except for the beginning, but it made Asuka's eyes open in horror. Who the hell was this person and what were they doing on the Audio recording.

She went for another audio, the angel where she remembered being mind raped, skipping her part to see who saved her. This time, it was the same voice of the same person on the tape of the earlier recording of a seemingly young boy, except the word that he screamed made her feel a sense of fear and sadness.

".As…u…KA!" screamed this voice that she felt that she knew but couldn't place a finger on it, getting this sense that there was another person, that in the end Misato was right, but the question is what happened to him…?

"This is weird…and it's true…what if this is?" thought Asuka, playing the final tape left of any fight of EVA. IT seemed to have ended with her screaming and writhing in pain, causing Asuka to shake and tremble remembering those haunting memories. Then, she heard his voice loud and clear, sound of anything happening outside of what was said in the speaker was muted it out, the words plaguing her instantly in her heart and a single tear dropped from her face.

"Goodbye…Asuka…"

With that, a loud explosion could be heard throughout the room and the audio recording stopped on its own, Asuka sitting there still and in silence, not knowing what to do or feel. At the moment, she felt disoriented, not knowing if she was feeling regret and sorrow, or another feeling…could it be that…?

"Is this really…him…" thought Asuka while her head drooped and tears began to form into her eyes. Suddenly, as if just like an instant transmission, she remembered a few more things about him not known before; it was as if someone was typing in new data into her brain like a computer.

"If this is really him, which I'm sure of it, then the one place I have left it…" thought Asuka to herself, hearing footsteps coming closer to her.

"This is great…" thought Asuka, silently running to the doorway Gendo would use to get out of the mainroom, getting out of the view of the soldiers running into the room, the sound of guns could be heard locking and preparing to aim fire.

"Someone was in here sir, look!" snapped a soldier while another man walked up to him, his eyes looking at the computer and seeing the information just recently viewed.

"Whoever it was had to have worked here at NERV, so really there's nothing we can do about it but still…she broke laws and therefore she be put in jail…" thought the man to himself while he got up and told the soldier to "at ease".

"Sir, what do we do?" said the soldier who was definitely nervous since after all, it was his first mission.

"We can leave this person alone, whoever it is, worked for NERV and I'm sure I got a pretty good feeling who it is…" said the man while he patted his hand on the soldier's shoulder, the tenseness of the soldier could be felt in the stiff muscle.

"Sir but --," began the soldier, immediately being cut off by the leader.

"It's fine, trust me, no one hacked into the mainframe unless they were NERV, after all, whoever did this had to know the code to gain access and to see all of that information I saw, it didn't seem important…" said the leader, pushing the young soldier out of the doorway while he kept walking.

"Sir yes sir Colonel Kensuke Aida!" said the young soldier while getting on his own two feet and walking on his own, the Colonel smiling his "copyrighted" smile, fixing his glasses to sit on his nose and work well.

"Well I think that it was you in here anyway. Besides, based on the research of the NERV personel, no one is as quick as you are nor quick-thinking as you are in times of desperation…" he thought to himself while he continued walking down the corridor, the light of the outside blinding what awaited outside since the artificial light wasn't much…

"_Asuka…what were you looking for?"_

When they all left, little did they know that Asuka was barely hiding behind another wall of the NERV entrance to catch some breath. After all, to her it felt like a whole new workout than the mild workouts she did to keep in some shape. So to her, this was completely a workout that she didn't expect.

"Talk… about a …hard time there…I was sure to… almost get caught…not only that…I haven't ran that fast in years…" muttered Asuka in between breaths of her quickened breathing. It seemed that the years didn't do much grace to her, but she still kept the skinny frame and yet beauty of herself. Still, she hated the fact that she felt his winded by barely escaping anybody when she could take on an Angel for awhile even if being defeated.

"I'm sure of it…that voice that I heard in there had to be him…" thought Asuka to herself while pulling out the picture, seeing the once again smiling boy with blue hair and brown hair, standing there in front of Misato's place. It was so mysterious that this boy was gone and never seemed to exist and now…just randomly popping up in conversations and things seemingly getting weirder by the second.

"Why is he not here then? What could have caused him to be gone? And I need to find out more, I have to make sure that I'm right in what I think about him right now…" she thought to herself. She began in the direction going towards both towards her house and Misato's. However, she passed Misato's place and kept going onward, getting inside and looking back at her home with relief.

"First I'll take a shower to clean myself and wear some clothes to get ready to do what I'm need to do…" thought Asuka to herself as she went upstairs, going to bathroom and taking a shower. After taking a much needed shower, she felt clean and good. With the towel still wrapped around her.

"There's so many questions left unanswered about him, and it seems I got a lot of information about him but it seems that I only got half of the information…" she thought to herself, plopping onto her bed and staring into the ceiling.

"The only way to confirm it is to…" she thought to herself, getting up and getting dressed.

When she was done, she went downstairs and immediately grabbed her phone, dialing a phone number.

"Hello?" said the familiar voice with a tint of curiosity.

"It's me Misato, Asuka…" began Asuka while holding the phone with both hands.

"Hey Asuka, did you…" began Misato while being instantly cut off by Asuka.

"Something's not right here like you said Misato, he was real, I can feel it but there's still so much unanswered stuff about him…"

"I guess maybe I was right then…something is puzzling about him, I mean did you find more?"

"Yeah, I found out the information you got me, except nothing to bear any **written existence **could be found of him…"

"Ok…"

"But there was some audio evidence he was alive…and I think I need to do one more thing…"

"What is that Asuka?"

"I need to you to…unlock the room…"

"…Ok…"

Asuka said goodbye and hung up the phone, getting on her shoes and walking towards her next destination with much anticipation.

"I know that there's something there to prove more to me about your existence…," thought Asuka while walking with a determined face and her fists curled up with determination.

"_that's why…I'll go look into the room Misato locked up; your room…"_


	4. Movement 4: Yearning

_Sorry for the long wait, but here's the next installment! I know it's not pre-readnor proofread by anyone so bear with the bad grammar and everything, but will someone help me out for the next one? I'd be grateful for the help! Now, for this story, this is the second to last chapter of it, and then back to the other story when this is finished. Also, there are two endings I have created, and I'm not sure which one to go with..._

_Also, to everyone who's stuck with this story, hope you enjoy it! Now, onto the next part!_

Movement 4: Yearning; Why won't you come back? Love's inseparable bond pt. 1

There it was, the one place that she needed to check the most. The door that blocked her way only seemed like a distraction while Misato slowly began to walk towards the door. Asuka stood there waiting while she took the key out, a large "click" sound could be heard out loud; the door being unlocked and hopefully the end to this all.

"Misato…" began Asuka before Misato could take the key out of the door. Misato turned around with a puzzled look.

"What is it Asuka?" asked Misato, standing in front of a confused Asuka.

"Why did you lock up that room?" asked Asuka with a curious tone, Misato taking a deep sigh.

"Well…" began Misato, immediately being cut off by Asuka.

"Come on Misato, it's odd for someone to lock a room up that seemed to belong to no one --,"

"But it did! I left it that way because I wanted to make sure who ever it belonged to that they would feel at home because their room was never changed!"

"So you left it that way thinking that they would return then? And for ten years you never touched it?"

"Yes, Asuka, it's been sitting like that for ten years, but I'm still waiting…and plus…"

"Plus what?"

"This is going to help you now is it not? So let's not talk about it anymore…"

Misato turned around and took out the key from the door, Asuka inching closer to the door.

"Well, Asuka, here goes…" said Misato while turning the knob, the door opening slowly to the one key place left to look. The darkness of the room swallowed whatever light was in front of the doorway. Asuka began to walk towards this dark room slowly, entering the darkness.

"What the hell…ow! What did I just bump into!" snapped Asuka while fumbling in the darkness. Misato laughed silently so Asuka couldn't hear it, and when she couldn't take it anymore, she flicked the light switch. What both Asuka and Misato saw made their eyes open in shock.

Everything was dusty in the room since it hadn't been cleaned for ten years but, just what was inside of it made you swear that it wasn't just decorations. There were white button up shirts and black pants hanging in the closet and left untouched. A Cello with rusty strings sat idly in the corner yearning to be played, it's case lying right next to it. The desk had few things on it but not a lot, just some papers. Lastly, it seemed a little S-DAT player sat on the bed. Misato watched as Asuka continuously looked around in disarray and shock.

"She needs to be alone for this, or else it won't sink in like it did for me…" thought Misato while she walked out of the door, Asuka moving closer to cello. When she got there, she stood there for a second, looking in admiration and wonder .Slowly, she began to extend her arm out to touch it, her hand trembling with every inch it came closer to making contact.

When both the cello and hand had made contact, the memory behind it that she had once treasured most had come back to her, and all it did was make her start to feel this tear inside.

**Ten years ago…**

It was the time when she was returning from a date that had gone really bad since the guy was boring. However, what made it even worse was the fact that it was a favor for a friend…but she forgot who. Still, she decided to ditch it early so that it wouldn't be more of a disaster. It was just another date that she would forget about in a few days…or more like a few hours…

"What an idiot…" she told herself while she got to the apartment, opening the door and hearing a beautiful sound. Not just any type of beautiful sound, but it was coming from what seemed the heart and was felt with this passion and yet emptiness as it continued, relaxing Asuka and getting her to just forget about it instantly. She loved it and what it made her feel, walking towards the area where the sound was coming from and was shocked at the sight. There he was, sitting there with his eyes closed, playing the cello and letting himself go. She continued to watch in silence and felt a little smile escape on her lips. He looked cute like that…

When he stopped, she couldn't help but clap, causing him to jump and turn around to see her looking at him.

"Huh?" said Shinji turning around to see a clapping Asuka with a smile on her face.

"Not bad! You know something like that!" said Asuka with a tint of being impressed at the sight and sound she just heard.

"I've been learning since I was five. This skill…I'm not particularly talented…" said Shinji earnest and with sadness as a tone.

"Sticking with it is power. I'll think a little better of you." said Asuka in a normal toned voice, seeing a little bit of happiness in his eyes, but nearly impossible to recognize.

"I began this following my teacher's advice. I could have quitted immediately." said Shinji while putting his cello down in its case.

"So why have you continued?" asked Asuka while heading back towards the door, taking off her earrings at the same time.

"No one told me to stop." Said Shinji while putting away the cello carefully, having a blank tone and emotionless gaze.

"That figures." Snapped Asuka in a "told-you-so" tone and slipping off her shoes, heading towards the doorway.

"You came back early. I thought you would have supper." Said Shinji while walking to the entrance between the living room and kitchen and seeing Asuka walking towards the middle of the room.

"It wasn't any fun to be with that boy. So I escaped while we were in line for the roller coaster." Said Asuka, landing onto a pillow on the floor of the living room, having a deep sigh escape her mouth.

"That's cold." Said Shinji while going back into the kitchen and looking like he was getting ready to make supper for two instead of one. Asuka turned around and lied on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Oh! Only Kaji-san is a real man." Said Asuka, staring into the darkness of the room and the ceiling, having a daydream about Kaji that would be just one of the millions she had in the past.

The time went by fast that night, and with a phone call from Misato, Shinji had been told that she wouldn't be back till the morning. Of course, with the fact that she was with Kaji then it wouldn't be in the morning she would return, but later. By then, Asuka had taken a shower and got into some comfortable clothes, her head lying on the table and her face with a bored expression. However, within a split second, this weird feeling went into the room and only god knew what was going to happen next.

"Hey Shinji, let's kiss…" were the words that escaped her mouth.

"E? What?" said Shinji in immediate response, some shade of red beginning to flame on his cheeks.

"I said let's kiss. You've never kissed right?" said Asuka with a tint of curiosity and excitement.

"No"

"Then let's kiss."

"Hm. How come?"

"Because I don't have anything to do…"

"Nothing to do, so, kiss? That's…"

"You don't want to kiss a girl on the anniversary of your mother's death? Are you afraid that your mother might be watching us from heaven?"

"Not really…"

"Or are you afraid…"

"I am not. I'll kiss you!"

"Have you brushed your teeth?"

"Yeah."

"Then here we go…"

She began to move to him with anticipation coursing through every bone and muscle of her body. She didn't know how this would be, since it was her first kiss and all. Still, the idea of him being her first one had gave her some happiness. Most of all, she had a feeling that he did like her, she could see the red flaming on his cheeks like a fire in the night. When she got to him she stopped a few centimeters from his face, his eyes were closed and his lips ready for it. However, when he didn't feel it come, he opened his eyes a little.

"The breath from your nose is tickling me. Don't breathe!" snapped Asuka, Shinji's eyes opening wide and immediately he felt to fingers press his nose closed. That's when he felt her lips press against his, and immediately two feelings shot through him. He felt happy that she was kissing him, and yet he felt like he was going to die since she plugged his nose. Was this what a kiss was supposed to feel like.

After what seemed like a minute, he saw Asuka immediately run to the bathroom, a gurgling sound coming out of there.

"Phew! I can't believe I just did that to kill time!" snapped Asuka, gurgling some more as the night and moment had just been ruined.

**Present…**

She laughed at herself and the memory, remembering that night that could get her to laugh so easily. It was a great memory that never seemed to be in her mind after the hospital, and now for it to show up? That was strange. She then moved to the closet, seeing the clothes still hanging in there.

"Figures the way he was, heck I don't even remember him wearing anything else that was different except for that one time…" began Asuka, another memory slipping into her mind that she had seemed to be altered, but now being the same and different at the same time.

It was the time when they had to fight the angel Israfel, and when they fought and failed the first time, both Asuka and Shinji had to learn how to fight together in order to win the battle. Of course, with the way they both were, at the time it was just about impossible. In the end, they had to learn a routine to defeat the angel and most importantly, **work **together. For them, it was hell, but finally after a few events and thousands of practices, they defeated the Angel, and a sense of victory was felt by the two.

"I can't believe we still won too…" thought Asuka to herself, turning around to look at the bed, but most importantly the S-DAT player. She walked over to it, immediately taking into her hand and remembering all the times she would see him listening to it, but most importantly the times when he would lock himself up in his room and lie down, listening to it for hours on end.

"He would never want to open up, not matter how much you tried…he would always push you away when you wanted to be close, and seemed to fall even more into a shell if your cursed him or made fun of him…" thought Asuka while looking at the S-DAT player. Then she stopped and felt weird, because one second ago she barely knew anything about him and then the next, she knew him like he had been there for the past ten years.

Why was it all sinking in now when she least expected it? And why was she feeling this pang of sorrow and pain? Was it that he has been gone for so long? No, it couldn't be just that. After all, if someone is gone you could always remember them and the pang of loss wouldn't hit you like a ton of bricks. It had to be something else inside that she couldn't describe. It was this feeling as if since he's been gone, her life has been empty in many ways but has still been a happy one. I mean all of her friends had been good to her, especially in the few relationships she actually took a chance at, but nothing felt close to this whenever she broke up with them. In fact, it felt as if the world came crashing down on her and nothing could fill this void in her heart for him.

_It was as if…as if…_

"I've been in love with him for so long…" thought Asuka to herself while she took a giant plop on his bed, the dust rising in the air. She didn't care about the dust under her not the dust in the air, but the fact that everything had been under her nose this whole time and she couldn't see it is what hurt her inside. How could she not realize how she felt for him, not even back then.

"I should've said something back then…but I…" began Asuka thinking to herself while she sat back up on the bed, feeling tears well in her eyes. She was afraid that he would hurt her, reject her, because he would never open up to her. She didn't know what to think of him during those times; he was a coward, never able to decide anything or seem to do anything unless piloting the EVA. Still, she couldn't help but feel something inside that screamed for him. She remembered all the nights that she would wonder if he did like her, that maybe in some way he would come up to her and finally say something, but it never came.

"I should've been the one to tell him…I knew he wouldn't say anything…" she thought to herself, knowing that what she just said was correct. She had known all along that it wouldn't have been him to do it, it had to be her. Still, she wanted him to be the one to say something because she wanted him to do something for himself and take charge. Would it really have killed him to just have done one thing to change everything to where they could help each other heal from the wounds inside? Yes, she wanted to be with him because she wanted to help him heal while he helped her to heal. The wounds that they both were dealt when they're mothers died, the rejection and pang of knowing the person closest to you was gone while you lived on in this pathetic world. It was hurting them both inside, and it could never be healed.

"It still hurts to this day, still wondering why she went insane and killed herself…" thought Asuka while remembering that day, instantly shaking it away so she wouldn't remember. Looking back around the room, she felt his presence everywhere. It was giving her this warm feeling, as if he was there with her in the room, and with every step she was taking she felt like he had been there standing with his arms open for her to come to him, even if he wasn't there. A tear fell down her face, her body trembling as she sat there, to where finally she began crying. It wasn't the typical type that you would get over in an instant, it was rather one that had been held inside for ten years.

Tears of sadness, loss, and just anger that he was gone and would never return; killing himself to protect them all. It was a righteous moment, and she would always thank him for that, but it still hurt that he was gone, but most importantly, the fact that he wasn't remembered by anyone except for her and possibly Misato.

"Why is it this way? Did fate want to throw you a harsh card?" thought Asuka while she continued to tremble and cry. Tears were staining the dusty sheets and her fists were clenched up in anger. Why did this all have to happen? Why did she have to be able to stumble upon the answers that she had so desperately yearned for during these past ten years? These last two questions though are still unanswered, and even if they're like the other questions that were never meant to be answered, she still wanted them to be. She needed to know, even if it would hurt in the end, because she wanted closure and a feeling of understanding him for once, like she had wanted to be able to.

"I need to understand you even if this hurts…but still…it doesn't feel like you really wanted to die. Rather…you left…" thought Asuka while she continued to sob and cry, holding her knees up to her face.

Slowly she got up and went over to his desk, looking at what seemed like a picture that she had never seen before. When she took a look at it, she couldn't help but blush at it. It was one that she thought she had lost, but instead it turned out she had given it to him.

It was a picture of a time when she decided to take a shot and go on a date with him, or as she called it back then, "another way to pass the time". They had gone to go see a movie that night, a horror film at that, and she made some moves on him to get him to reply back. Instead he never did, but did blush at the contact whenever she took his hand or grabbed his arm. Even if he didn't make any moves, she still had a fun time with him there, and when they went to dinner, it was silent with a few bits of a conversation that never lasted.

Lastly, she decided that she wanted a picture with him, to somewhat remember the "horrible time" she had with him. He tried to say no but was immediately dragged by the arm towards a photo booth. When they took a photo, she could remember him smiling in one of them, and it was the most real and natural one he'd ever had before. Ever since then, she made two copies to where he could keep one and she could and they would remember that day for a long time.

"At least he didn't lose it…" she thought to herself, walking out of the room and closing the door behind her. When Misato heard it, she turned around to face a sad-looking Asuka.

"Did you find what you need in there?" asked Misato while continuing what she was doing.

"Yeah, but I need to go somewhere else to really figure out everything…" said Asuka with a disappointed tone. She began to walk towards the door to get out of the place, the memories flooding her mind and making her hurt inside.

"Asuka where are you going?" asked Misato with a curious tone, turning around and heading towards the table. Asuka stopped dead in her tracks with her hand on the doorknob.

"I need to go Misato, I want to find out one more thing or else I won't feel good about this…" said Asuka while Misato stood at the table, putting something down on the table.

"Well Asuka, how about you wait for a little while more…" said Misato with a smile, turning around and heading back towards the place she was at, grabbing another thing and heading towards the table.

"Why Misato? Why should I stay here?" snapped Asuka while Misato set the last item down.

"I can't let you go somewhere on an empty stomach…" said Misato while she moved towards her seat. Asuka nodded and smiled heading towards the table to eat with her past guardian.

"Thanks Misato for the dinner and everything else." Said Asuka with a genuine smile, Misato giving a smile back that only registered a "your welcome".

"Now…tell me about what you know so far…"


	5. Movement 5: Regret and Hope

_Well, here's the ending of this tragic story that should make this story "complete". To everyone out there who's been following this story, thank you for all the encouragement and advice, and sorry this isn't pre-read, I haven't had time to send it to anyone. Still, hopefully this ending doesn't let you down in any way, nor does it have a feeling of being rushed. So, this marks my first complete EVA fic I've ever created, hope you enjoy._

_And if you don't like this ending, I can always post the other alternate ending as another chapter after this, so in the review let me know what you think so I can decide whether or not that is a good idea. Other than that, I hope you enjoy and well on with the story!_

Movement 5: Regret and Hope: Love's inseparable bond pt. 2

After telling Misato everything, the feelings of emptiness packed onto her worse than 100 pound weights attaching to her shoulder because of the guilt. Guilt of feeling as if she never should have forgotten him, guilt of never opening up to him, guilt of always arguing with him and never showing a nice side to him. She felt as if she couldn't feel the same anymore, and slowly felt one phrase begin to stick in her head like glue.

"_Some questions were never meant to be answered…"_

She'd always hated that statement because she believed that every question was meant to be answered, but now, look at her, mess and feeling as if the statement was slowly starting to reveal itself to her as true. It pained her inside that she had to accept this and sometimes would wish that she never went searching for him, however she was glad she looked for him, searched for him in every fiber of her being. She felt as if without figuring out who the boy in the picture was, then she would never be able to live again. With these emotions toiling and intertwining inside, it caused her to hate herself more. It was tearing her apart into millions of pieces that would never be picked up by another.

"Why did it have to be you?" she snapped out into the cold wind of the evening blowing against her face, staring out into the sunset that would once make her feel content and calm only make her feel down. If only he was here, maybe then he would be the one next to her. He could be holding her in his arms, he could be cooing sweet little nothings into her ears, but instead he was gone. Vanished without a trace, and in the end it was hurting her more than anyone else.

She decided to go to the park once again, remembering that they had found a stone statue resembling an EVA fighting another odd-looking EVA. The odd-looking EVA was in the air seeming like it was trying to grab the other EVA on the ground, while the EVA on the ground held stopped the EVA in the air by grabbing its hands and pushing it away. In the end, it seemed to bear as a symbol of humanity's continuous battle with itself; both the odd-looking EVA and the other EVA resembling human nature in everyone's hearts.

"_This is to the dedicated pilots of those that saved humanity. May they forever be remembered. This is dedicated to Asuka and Rei, the pilots of the beasts known as EVA." _Read the caption on the statue, Asuka sighing while she looked at it.

"It wasn't just us…but still no one remembers you…" she thought while she continued to look at the statue with blank eyes, memories of times with her and Shinji were playing in her head, especially the one date they had. It hurt to remember but at the same time brought happiness to her. Once again those contradicting emotions filled her while the sky began to turn grey.

"I don't get it Shinji…I just don't get it…" said Asuka while her head drooped down to look at the ground, her hands slowly turning into fists. Suddenly, rain began to pour down on her while she stood there in brief silence.

"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to be that way!" began Asuka while her body began to tremble, her fists tightening even more.

"And then, it seems that all of a sudden NO ONE REMEMBERS YOU! YOU DIE AND NO ONE REMEMBERS THAT YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAVED US!" snapped Asuka while her whole body shook furiously.

"YOU LEFT US, I KNOW THAT YOU RAN AWAY! SOMEHOW, YOU CAUSED US TO FORGET YOU! YOU RAN AWAY LIKE THE COWARD YOU HAD BEEN!" rampaged Asuka while she continued to yell in the air, tears swelling in her face. She hated this feeling, but she had to let it out, it couldn't just sit in there anymore.

"MAYBE YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT, WHO KNOWS WHO DID, BUT STILL! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO EVERYONE! HOW COULD LEAVE US HERE HANGING AND FEELING LIKE THIS? But most importantly…," continued Asuka while tears began to fall from her face.

"How could you leave me here to feel like this? How could you leave me here alone when you knew I didn't like being left alone? Didn't you get it? Didn't I show you that?" continued Asuka, her yelling ceasing to exist, and now, her true and raw emotions came fleeing away from her.

It seemed now, looking back at the times that she had spent with him when they were EVA pilots. All the bickering and the fighting, all the insults, all the mistakes she made as the snappy and angry EVA pilot. Now, she can't but feel that she was truly an idiot during those times, and she should've been different, but instead she focused too heavily on her past, maybe she should've worked on what could happen in the future. She was afraid of being hurt, that in the end she let herself get away from the world that only seemed to be pain and sadness, so that no one could hurt her again, no matter how much she cared for them. In the end, he was the one slowly getting through the barrier, but when he left, no one stood a chance. Not even Misato has been able to break that barrier, until she finally let it down about seven years ago.

"I don't get it, didn't you realize anything about me? Didn't you realize that…that…" she said with a hurt tone in her voice, the pain feeling as if swords were being jabbed into her sides.

"I loved you?"

Asuka waited in silence as if waiting for an answer, and still no answer was given out loud. No answer to comfort her, give her warmth and closure, nothing, as if an empty void just stood there with no purpose in life. She felt hollow inside, carved out from the inside in which once contained little heart.

"Why was I so stubborn to tell you this? Why did I let myself stay from telling you the truth of how I felt towards you, even though I acted like I hated you by berating you, making you feel as if you had to say sorry. Now, I realize I should be the one saying sorry to you…" the rain began to die down, the sky clearing up little by little.

"Still, Shinji, why did you have to leave us all here, to act as though you're not here? How could you just leave us like this and expect us to continue while instead we suffer continuously knowing that you're gone?"

"Asuka….he had a reason for it all and maybe you're not understanding it…" began a familiar voice that began to get closer to her, her face turning instantly at the direction of the voice.

"I don't know why or how it happened and neither do you, but he died saving us all from something that a corporation called SEELE was working on, "Instrumentality". He saved us all from a horrible fate." Continued on the voice as it moved closer to her, these words that became so revealing as if an epiphany was coming to her.

"What do you mean Misato?" asked Asuka with shock, Misato stopping as she was in good distance to really talk with the now shocked Asuka.

"From what I read when I did research on him, Shinji was going to be a major factor in a project called "Human Instrumentality", or as we like to call it, "Third Impact". With his EVA, Unit 01, he was to trigger a cataclysmic amount of events and cause the destruction of all humanity. To put it simply, to make us all become one being." Said Misato, causing Asuka to give a confused look and a shocked look at the same time that made Misato think she got it a little bit. How could this be? How could everything that had happened be for something as horrible and as sinister as this?

"However, even if Shinji did or didn't know this, he stopped any chance of it by killing himself with the other EVAs sent to attack us and thus ending the chance. You see, he saved us all from that horrible fate, he made the right choice." Misato finally finished Asuka starting to feel rage coursing through her veins

"I can understand that Misato, but how could he be forgotten by everyone, it doesn't make sense! The only way it could've happened is by him running away! He was running away again, like he always does!" snapped Asuka while Misato stood there with anger mounting inside of her too.

"Asuka, didn't you think of what I just said earlier? He wasn't a coward, because if he was then we wouldn't be standing here talking like this! You wouldn't be here crying because he was gone, but instead he sacrificed himself for us all! How can you consider that cowardice!" snapped Misato while she could see Asuka's anger leave in a split second as only shock filled her eyes, and sadness at the truth of the words piercing her heart, "Still, you insult him when he did it. I'm sure he was thinking of you when he died too!" Asuka's face began to cringe at tighten at the words while the tears began to fall little by little, "I don't know if he caused himself to be forgotten, but if he did, maybe he thought it would be easier for us to not remember him, to act as though we didn't know him so he didn't have to worry about someone being hurt…"

"He's an idiot then! He shouldn't have done that! It hurts worse thinking that we had forgotten him than actually remembering him and never forgetting him! Then the pain wouldn't be as hard as this!" snapped Asuka while her tears finally came bursting out, her yells of pain coming out as she began to cry once again, feeling vulnerable to it all. Misato smiled and slowly walked up to her. Suddenly, as if calculated movement, she placed an arm around Asuka, pulling Asuka closer in a warm embrace. The tears and sobbing continued while Misato wrapped a second arm around Asuka, holding her in a true warm embrace to comfort the poor red haired girl in front of her.

"You know that, I know that, but for him, he thought it was the best way," began Misato while Asuka continued to sob some more, her body trembling, "he didn't know how to express himself, nor did he seek the comfort that others brought, he only considered himself a burden to anyone around him, wishing to be nothing of that sort to anyone, he seemed to have asked that he would be forgotten or something unexplainable to where we all forgot him and lived life." she finished with those words, hoping they would truly comfort Asuka, who stopped crying and trembling and looked up to Misato seeking more answers.

"Still, I wish she was here, it hurts that he isn't here, it hurts that I can't tell him anything at all, it hurts that I can't be at his side. I just wish he was here, that way I wouldn't feel so alone…" continued Asuka while she stayed in Misato's calming embrace that felt like a mother to her.

"Asuka, you don't have to feel alone, as long as you remember him and carry him in your heart, than he's not gone. He's with you forever, but not to where you can see him. He's inside of your heart, and in the end he becomes a part of you. Don't you get it Asuka? Sometimes a person isn't always there, but does that mean they aren't with you? They are, so long as they reside in your heart and stay there. Like you, you are in my heart and if you left me here, I might be sad that you're gone, but then I would feel as though you were here with me, because you are in my heart." Said Misato with a smile while Asuka had a perplexed look that still seemed to be curious to know more, seek answers that she never knew existed before.

"So I won't be alone, I never will, as long as I remember him and keep him in my heart. Then that means that he is here with us, that he will always be with me, even until I die. So as long as I carry on the memory of him, he will never truly be dead?" asked Asuka with innocence and curiosity in her tone, a smile slowly forming on her face with Misato smile genuinely and with a motherly/sisterly affection.

"That's right Asuka, he's never been dead and never was forgotten, as long as we carry him on in our hearts, then he's never been dead this whole time." Said Misato while she felt arms slowly wrap around her, looking down and seeing Asuka's beaming smile.

"Thanks Misato, thanks for being here for me now, I needed it more than anything." said while she slowly released Misato from the embrace, Misato doing the same.

"Asuka, you know I'll always be here for you because you're like a daughter/sister to me, you've grown on me, what can I say?" said Misato with a calm and content tone.

"Well Misato, you've become like the mother I've never had, and the sister I wish I had." Said Asuka while continue to hold that genuine smile, something she hadn't experienced in months.

"Well Asuka, what do you say we get over this and try to start a new life with remembering him? Why don't you live your life now instead of living in the past? This time, worry about the future." Said Misato while she saw Asuka blush a little from what seemed embarrassment. After all, Asuka told herself she should've done that with Shinji, except for now it was time to put this into practice.

"Yeah, I'll do that now Misato, it's better than to sulk and be depressed, it's time I looked out for myself instead of focusing on my mistakes in the past." Said Asuka while Misato gave a affirmative nod.

"Asuka, we learn from mistakes and apply them to our lives, not dwell on them. That's a major factor in life; that we have to learn from mistakes and put what we learned to practice. So you know what? This is a good start, how about we go and eat somewhere and talk some more? Then we can start this new life of yours?" said Misato with a smirk, Asuka nodding back at her.

When all of this was said and done, and with the day passing by, Asuka took the picture out of one of the pockets so she could look at it one last time, seeing something that she never had seen before. What she saw puzzled her and made her wonder how it happened, but shrugged it off and left it on the table.

In the picture was the boy smiling and staying in the same spot but turned to the side and blushing, looking at a beautiful red-haired girl who smiled back. It seemed they were happy together, as though they were together as a couple, and it seemed under the bright sun they were never meant to be separated. Before Asuka had left, she knew who that girl was that was in the picture, because no one else was like that. It was herself, except as a fourteen year old, and it seemed for once it fit how she felt; happy.

"_I'll never forget you Shinji. I love you."_

The door to her place shut and with that, the new life of the once famous Asuka Langley Sohryu began.


	6. Movement 5: Regret and Hope Alt Ending

_Wow, I didn't expect that many reviews for this story, but I'm glad you guys liked it. You guys have really given me this feeling that makes me only want to write more. So I'll be developing more story lines that work and I want to say thanks for all the support and the criticism along the way. You've helped me to improve as a writer, even if my grammar is atrocious. Still, to explain what I meant by he was alive, he was alive inside of them, not physically. It was a way I only could think of for Misato to comfort Asuka and to help her get over it, but whatever, just glad that you reviewed! Nothing personal, sorry if it sounded harsh._

_Anyways, here's the Alt. Ending to the series that I'm sure many of you wanted, and well hopefully you enjoy it! It's also dedicated to you the reader's! So on with the chapter!_

Movement 5: Regret and Hope: Love's inseparable bond pt. 2 (Alt. Ending)

The cold wind and the majestic afternoon couldn't convey the emotions she felt inside, even if letting everything she had come to know in these last few days be told to Misato, it still plagued her constantly during the whole conversation, and to the point to now where she stands alone. What had she done to deserve everything thrown at her now in her prime? Life alone was great but had many downsides, and now this adding to the tab, what the hell more could happen?

After talking to Misato, she felt that she had to go to another place to calm down, and the only thing that seemed to be able to bring ease yet to help her let it all go; the shrine of the unknown EVA battling what seemed another EVA, and Asuka could remember well it was just one of the many EVAS that SEELE had sent to create Third Impact. However, this shrine seemed special, as if a memorial and also a symbol.

The shrine had the two EVAS battling it out for what seemed dominance and victory. The SEELE EVA was in the air and extending it's arms out as if to grab the other EVAS arms and push it to the ground. However, the EVA on the ground had held the SEELE EVA by its arms and was holding it there, both struggling to cause the other to fail. Many believed that not only was it a shrine to remember the past, but to also symbolize the eternal struggle between the good and evil in a person's heart, along with humanity's struggle between its good and evil choices. There, under it read a caption saying, _"This is to the dedicated pilots of those that saved humanity. May they forever be remembered. This is dedicated to Asuka and Rei, the pilots of the beasts known as EVA." _Read the caption on the statue, Asuka sighing while she looked at it.

"Why did it have to here always?" snapped Asuka while walking towards it, looking at it with hurt eyes. It was reminding her too much of the past…not only that but…but…him, he plagued her mind, her being at this moment, causing her to be stricken with nothing but the pain of loss and the memories that she so desperately wished were gone and there at the same time. She had to figure who the boy was in the picture, she felt that if she didn't she wouldn't feel normal or alive.

"Why did it have to be you?" she asked herself in her mind, still grasping a mental image of the fourteen year old boy that took her heart without her knowing, as if flying under the radar and striking her blindly. She wished he was here, holding him in her arms, whispering to her that it was only a bad dream and cooing sweet nothings into her ear, just watching the sunset together and enjoying each other's presence. Instead, he was gone and it was tearing her inside into two, because he simply vanished without a trace, with no history, no background, no friends, nothing. He became just a hole in history to where he wouldn't be remembered by anyone but herself, and also Misato. All these thoughts pounding her ferociously while one saying she hated the most popped up in her head, and this time she felt it had some truth.

"_Some questions were never meant to be answered…"_

When she heard that the first time, she didn't believe it and casted it aside saying it was full of crap. Still, looking at what has happened and how she was feeling, it was just becoming blatantly true to her. However, at least there was a positive to it all right? At least she now knows who it was even if no one else does.

"I don't get it Shinji…I really just don't get it…" began Asuka while her head drooped down and her hands slowly became fists.

"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to be that way? Trying to become a hero!" snapped Asuka with her body starting to tremble and her fists tightening, the anger coming out more and more with each outburst.

"And then, it seems all of a sudden NO ONE REMEMBERS YOU! YOU DIE AND NO ONE REMEMBERS THAT YOU SAVED US ALL!" said Asuka, her body now trembling furiously.

"YOU LEFT US HERE WITHOUT ANY TRACE OF EXISTENCE, I KNOW THAT YOU RAN AWAY! SOMEHOW YOU CAUSED US TO FORGET YOU! YOU RAN AWAY LIKE THE COWARD YOU'D BEEN!" rampaged Asuka while tears began to form and it seemed the barrier she created was slowly snapping, the emotion that she held in for so long was releasing. She had to let it out, it couldn't just sit inside of her any longer.

"MAYBE YOU DIDN'T CAUSE IT, WHO KNOWS WHO DID, BUT STILL HOW YOU DO THIS TO EVERYONE? HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US HERE HANGING AND FEELING LIKE THIS? But most importantly…" continued Asuka, the tone changing in her voice and her tears began to fall down her face.

"How could you leave me here to feel like this? How could you leave me alone here when you knew I didn't like being alone? Didn't you get that? Didn't I show you that?" her tone of voice had slowly changed, and in the end you could feel the pain resonating from her voice. The true and raw emotions that she held inside came fleeing away from her, wanting to be let out.

She started to remember everything about the past just then, the time when he was alive and was living with her; the times when she was an EVA pilot. All the bickering, fighting and all the mistakes made while being a snappy and angry fourteen year old girl. Looking back at it all, she felt like an idiot at those times and that maybe she should've been different. Instead, she had to focus on the past and fearing all human touch and contact, for fear of getting hurt like her mother hurt her because the world only seemed to bring suffering and torture, rejection and anger, and she had to create a barrier from it all. However, he slowly began breaking through the barriers and helping her to heal the broken heart. When he left, no one stood a chance, and not even Misato could break through it. Misato and her had only gotten closer in the last seven years when she finally let it go.

"I don't get it, didn't you realize anything about me? Didn't you realize that…that…" she said with more hurt and sadness in her tone than last, the pain feeling as if swords were being jabbed into the sides of her.

"I loved you?"

Asuka fell into a brief period of silence, as if waiting for an answer that was going to never come. No answer that would bring her warmth, comfort and closure, nothing as if an empty void just stood there with no purpose in life. She felt hollow on the inside, carved out from the inside in which one contained a little shattered heart.

"Why was I so stubborn to tell you this? Why did I let myself keep from telling you the truth of how I felt towards you, even though I acted like I hated you by berating you, making you feel as if you had to say sorry. Now, I realize I should be the one saying sorry to you…" The rain died down, the sky clearing up little by little.

"I didn't want to see you turn out this way, I didn't want you to remember a burden like me when you got up, that's why Asuka, that's why." said an unfamiliar voice to Asuka that made her jump immediately. Who the hell was this person was all that was in her mind. Slowly she turned around to stare straight into familiar blue eyes that she couldn't believe she saw.

"Asuka, I made everyone forget so no tear would be shed for me when I died. To live is to die and for me I only felt like a burden to both you and Misato, so erasing myself from others felt like the right thing to do…" said the brown haired, blue eyed man with a calmness in his voice and yet some sound of sadness.

"Shinji…" began Asuka while some happiness began to form inside of her. She was happy to see him and that he was back, but still, the feelings of being alone for so long was so overwhelming that it only hurt her when he said that "he was a burden to her, that it was best for him to be forgotten".

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!" snapped Asuka while slapping Shinji on the face, a loud noise could be heard resonating, and a startled Shinji could be seen. Once again, tears began to build up in her eyes.

"YOU THINK THAT YOU WERE A BURDEN TO ME AND EVERYONE ELSE! YOU THOUGHT THAT BY ERASING YOUR EXISTENCE IT WOULD HELP US! DON'T YOU GET IT, I WENT THROUGH HELL BECAUSE OF THE SADNESS OF KNOWING YOU WERE GONE, THAT YOU DIED AND WAS FORGOTTEN!" snapped Asuka while Shinji stood there with a hurt look on his face. These words she was speaking, they were eating him up inside.

"Asuka you don't --," began Shinji immediately interrupted by Asuka.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US SHINJI? IT HURT EVERYTIME I LOOKED AT THE PICTURE WHEN I REMEMBERED YOU! I FELT EMPTY, SHINJI, EMPTY AND SAD THAT I HAD FORGOTTEN SOMEONE DEAR TO ME! YOU WERE NEVER A BURDEN TO ME! YOU WERE SOMEONE TO ME…" snapped Asuka while he stood there, tears welling up in his eyes.

"AND YET YOU RAN AWAY! WHY DID YOU RUN AWAY SHINJI! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!" snapped Asuka while she began to sob and cry out uncontrollably.

"ASUKA YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" snapped Shinji while Asuka stopped and saw him standing there with tears running down his face.

"YOU TREATED ME LIKE I WAS NOTHING BUT A BURDEN TO YOU, AND WHENEVER I WANTED TO GET CLOSE TO YOU, YOU PUSHED ME AWAY! HOW COULD I KNOW IF YOU DID JUST SIMPLY LIKE ME IF YOU DID THAT TO ME! I WANTED TO OPEN UP TO YOU AND YOU TREATED ME LIKE I WASN'T EVEN GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYTHING DEALING WITH YOU!" snapped Shinji while he yelled it out, a shocked Asuka standing there.

"What about that time –," said Asuka while Shinji cut her off.

"THAT TIME WHAT? THAT WE WENT TO GO TO THE MOVIES AND TAKING THOSE PHOTOS? YOU SAID IT WAS NOTHING! YOU SAID IT WAS TO WASTE TIME! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF THAT?" snapped Shinji while Asuka now felt scared, scared because the person she wanted seemed to hate her now more than ever.

"Shinji, you don't understand! Back then I didn't know what I was doing, I was an idiot! I looked back at everything I had done to you, and I realize I was acting stupid! I payed for my mistakes when you left, I feel into this state to where I couldn't get near to anyone except Misato and you know why?" snapped Asuka while Shinji stood there in silence, "Because I loved you! I realized that when I figured out who you were…and when I realized that you died for us all and for me, I cried realizing you were gone!" she said while her head drooped in sadness. He could hear her start to cry and felt sad and angry. Not angry at her, but himself. He caused her so much pain and he didn't even know it, what he had desperately tried to stop from happening only became worse with the decision he made.

"I'm sorry Asuka…I'm sorry…" said Shinji while stood there, not knowing what to do.

"Sorry isn't enough Shinji! How can you say that when being dead for ten years and running away from this world? How COULD YOU!" snapped Asuka as her body trembled once again, and sobs could be heard by Shinji. Slowly, as if it were a calculated move, Shinji walked up to her and held her in his arms. She felt it but couldn't help but continue to cry. Here he was, giving her the feeling of warmth, comfort and closure, whispering sweet nothings into her ears and telling her that everything was going to be alright.

"Asuka…you're not alone anymore…you're not going to be Asuka because I'll be here for you. Asuka, I didn't know how to let out my feelings back then because I feared comfort from others in case they would reject me later. But now, I realize that no matter what that I need to tell you how I feel, and that is that I love you…" said Shinji with warmth in his voice, causing her to cry more. He didn't know why but he knew it wasn't because of what she said earlier.

"S-S-Shinji, I-I, I LOVE YOU TOO! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE AGAIN, I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!" cried out Asuka while Shinji held her in his arms tighter, signaling he would never leave and let go. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, happy and sad at what was going on. Happy because he was back, sad because of all the things that had happened.

After she was done crying, they sat at a bench in the park in silence for awhile, not knowing what to say, until Asuka decided to break the silence.

"Shinji, how did you come back?" asked Asuka in a curious tone, resting her head on Shinji's shoulder while he had a loving arm wrapped around her.

"I was given a chance to come back alive…"

"What?"

"I was told right before I sacrificed myself that I would be able to come back alive anytime I wanted to, when I was ready."

"Why?"

"Because if everyone would forget me, I would be able to start a new life and become a normal person in society; it was a way for giving me a reward for sacrificing myself and stopping Third Impact."

"But why now?"

"I caught you crying here and saw how hurt you were by me, I couldn't stand it anymore. So, I came back wanting to be with you and to comfort you. YOU brought ME back."

"Thanks Shinji, I'm glad that you're back."

She kissed him on the cheek with a tint of red on her face, causing him to blush at the contact. He remembered them kissing but hell, this was better than that kiss. This one had love behind it, yearning and happiness. He kissed her back, smiling and telling her with his eyes that, "I'll never leave you,"

"So you also aged while you were dead huh?" said Asuka while Shinji looked at himself and gave a nervous smile.

"I guess so, somehow I got lucky enough to be the same age as you. Or rather, because of the second chance and timing, I guess I wasn't exactly "dead" but still was able to age. But who cares about that, let's go home and surprise Misato, what do you say?" asked Shinji while Asuka couldn't help but smile at the thought.

"Yeah, how about we do that?" said Asuka while they both got up, walking out of the park that would be forever remembered as their "anniversary of reuniting". When Misato saw him, she hugged him immediately and couldn't help but tell him everything that had happened during the last ten years, and he had to explain everything he had to Misato. It was a fun dinner, and for once the shy, timid Shinji they had known became this normal man that had changed inside.

Since Shinji didn't have a place to stay, Asuka let him stay at her apartment so they could begin a new life together. Since it was already night time, they went to bed in each other's arms. Before really falling asleep, Asuka took a look at the picture and was blushing at what she saw.

The young Shinji was still in there smiling except turned to the side, looking at someone Asuka could tell right away. It was her smiling and near Shinji, both holding hands and smiling at each other, causing Asuka to smile and feel happy that in the end he was back, and this time she was going to do things right. She slowly climbed back into the bed kissing Shinji on the lips.

_"I love you Shinji..."_ all of a sudden she heard a small and simple reply...

_"I love you too Asuka...and I always will..."_


End file.
